Mac: Phoenix Land Trust, Inc. Cassidy Casablancas, CEO.
Cassidy: Nice. I would totally trust this company with my money.
Mac: And it'll work wonders with the ladies. Chicks dig scars and acronyms.
Cassidy: Good to know.
Mac: I'm a giver of info.
Cassidy: Yeah, well, as much as I'd like to impress the ladies with my title, I actually need the CEO to be listed as Kendall Casablancas.
Mac: Pay me in cash, I ask no questions. Just...tip me off when you're going public.
Cassidy: You know, I think that might be illegal.
Mac: Still. You're admiring my moxie, aren't ya?
Cassidy: Somethin' like that.
Mac: So are we winning?
Mac: I feel like we're in a contest with all the other couples — who can hold hands longest.
Dick: Wow. You guys are cute. Aren't they? Like gerbils. In love.
Cassidy: Dickie, don't.
Dick: Chill, Beav. I get to give the big brother speech here. Just lookin' out for you.
Mac: You don't have to worry. He's fine.
Dick: Yeah? Good hands? 'Cause, you gotta take it easy on my bro. If you're gonna pop his cherry, hold back a little.
Cassidy: You're such an ass!
Dick: Don't go bustin' out any tricks. Be gentle and sweet. You don't wanna spook him. Like right now, I know his hands are just dripping with sweat, and you are so completely grossed out. But you're hangin' in. I dig that. Oop! See how it just slipped right out? Gotta work on that, bro.
Mac: Of the Boston Gasms?
Cassidy: One would hope.
Mac: What are you doing?
Cassidy: Um, you know, just standing here, wondering what I've done to make you ashamed of me. It's the age thing, isn't it? You know, me and my full blush of youth, and you and your...advancing years.
Mac: I'm standing in the middle of the hallway holding your hand, dorkwad.
Cassidy: And if the dance blows half as much as I'm guessing it will, we can cut out early. Go straight for the good stuff.
Mac: Ooh, my.
Cassidy: I'm talking about Neptune's Best Pizza Quest '06. You, get your mind out of the gutter.
Cassidy: All right, look, so this equation here: what do you think that we should do first?
Weevil: Am I a five year-old girl? Huh? Lay it out for me, dawg, come on. Make me understand!
Cassidy: Okay, okay, okay! Okay. Okay, so let's say that you and your buddy, you want to buy a twelve pack of a certain item. Say, like, um, like spark plugs, for x dollars, and you want to find out how many of another item, like, um, I dunno, like oil, right, like oil that you can get for the same amount, except oil is y times as much as—
Weevil: If this is your idea of terms I'll understand, I'm going to kill you. Or myself. It's a toss-up. Screw it, man, I'll just cheat.
Cassidy: No, but — what about my car?
Weevil: You know power buffers, right? Well, let's say your door panel is a summer home, right, and you need to clear out the south lawn to make a tennis court so—
Mac: F-O-I-L. That's all it is. First, outside, inside, last. All algebra, it's just the formula.
Weevil: Now can you teach me that?
Mac: You'll still fix his car?
Weevil: That's the deal.
Mac: Okay. Say you and your buddy buy a twelve pack of spark plugs... I'm just kidding. Here's the quadratic equation.
Weevil: 'Kay, you put another "x" on that paper and we're gonna have a problem.
Mac: I'd put little smiley faces, but I don't know if that's gonna sell "wrong."
Cassidy: I told you you went too fast on bouncing equations.
Mac: I didn't go too fast.
Cassidy: You plowed right through! I didn't understand what you were talking about!
Mac: No surprise there.
Cassidy: What, are you saying you're smarter than me?
Mac: No, I wasn't. Here's what that would've sounded like: "I'm smarter than you." Hear the difference?
Cassidy: You don't really believe that.
Mac: Then why'd I get it tattooed on my hip?
Cassidy: Well, if this is what you need to do to feel better about yourself...
Mac: If I get you an A, will you shiv him?
Weevil: Hey, I got an idea: how 'bout you two geniuses go work out your aggression in some coat room, and then come back here and teach me algebra, huh?
Mac: Guess what?
Mac: Beaver got us a room at the Neptune Grand for tonight.
Veronica: Ooh la la.
Mac: Any advice?
Veronica: Close your eyes and think of England?
Dick: Chug! Chug! Chug! Oh! That's what I'm talkin' about! Feels good to be a man from time to time, does it not?
Dick: Enbom! Get over here!
Mac: All I ask is that you don't follow that performance with a belch.
Cassidy: Do you wanna go check out the room?
Mac: It's liquid! It's courage! It's liquid courage!
Cassidy: Yeah, well there's, uh, there's nothing up there that I'm afraid of.
Mac: Don't worry about it. I'm having a good time and we've got all night, okay? We're cool here. I'm just gonna hop in the shower and then we can head back down to the party.
Mac: He took my clothes. He took everything. Why?